The Truth About A Preemie

I have been writing this post for a good 2 months now and not sure if I should publish it. The emotional posts seem to be the hardest to hit the publish button on. Don't forget to link up to my World Prematurity Day post if you haven't already! I'd love to hear your story, and others would too!

 So for Prematurity Awareness Month...here you go.

The truth about a preemie is....you don't always see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

From the day they were born until now, I've never really known when I can stop thinking about the twins being premature and can start thinking of them as average kids. Or if they ever will be "caught up" and "normal" and meet all of the milestones on time. From their health to their development, I'm not sure "preemie" will ever be a term they completely outgrow.

The truth about a preemie is....even if mom seems to have her act together, she probably doesn't.

I've been more stressed out in the past few years then I have all my life. I made it through college under less pressure then I sometimes feel with when dealing with the twins. While I can see some parts of it are typical new mom of twins woes, a lot of my stress was from their health and prematurity. I feel like I've done a good job keeping a smile on my face, but I'd be lying if I told you I didn't break down pretty frequently, crying to my husband about how I can't handle it. As time goes on and I look back on the really rough days when the twins were first born, I think I'm still processing how difficult that was for me. I'm still coming to terms with the situation.

The truth about a preemie is....it's no ones fault.

I've had to tell myself this a lot. It's not their fault they were born early. It's not the doctors or nurses fault. My biggest struggle has been coming to terms with that it's not my fault.

The truth about a preemie is....you don't know how to talk about it to people with full term kids.

How do I explain their birth and hospital stay? How do I describe their health to a stranger so that they take me seriously, but not so serious that they're scared off? They certainly don't understand CPAP, IVH, PDA, and all the other things that I talked about constantly when the twins were little. Even now that they're 2, people see them as healthy, active kids, but how do I tell them we can't go somewhere because it has a lot of smoke and I worry about Jack's lungs. Or the reason you can't understand Jack when he speaks is from sensory problems from his prematurity. It seems like I'm just making up excuses for him being a bit behind...or still drooling like a teething 6 month old. It's hard to understand the preemie world from the outside.

The truth about a preemie is...you can't hear another preemie story without your eyes filling with tears. Good or bad story, your heart aches.

The truth about a preemie is....you think they've amazed you by just being alive, but they continue to amaze you every day by their incredible strength to overcome every challenge put in their way.

My babies have faced a lot of challenges already. I don't think they even realize it. They will continue to face a lot of challenges and I know they'll get through them. I just hope I'm strong enough that I will get through it all too.

The truth about a preemie is....they're perfect in every way.

Enjoy this little blast from the past ;)