Real Life vs. Blog Life

We have been reading a great book in my mom's group this year. It's called "No More Perfect Moms" by Jill Savage for anyone interested in picking a copy up. But in reading it, we were discussing how moms today hold themselves to a different standard because of social media. Because they don't want people judging them, they don't want people to see their messy house, but let's be honest, the picture of me ripping my hair out and Ben laughing maniacally on the floor isn't really one most people want to see. Or maybe you do.

Nor is me doing the laundry very picturesque.

But that's my life.

So my question is. Why do mom's judge each other based on the little snipped of a life you see on a blog or on Facebook? Why do we feel the need to quietly compete over the prettiest dinner even while juggling 3 kids or the perfectly decorated and picked up house with a newborn? That's just not real life.

Blog picture:

From Corrina Marie Photography. Obviously, my children always sit still, next to each other and smile.

Real Life:

quite different.

Blog Picture:

Clearly, my children are always cute and hugging and getting along. No, that's false.

Real Life:

Blurs. Always blurs.

The point is, it's easy to blog about the perfect dinner you cooked...for the first time in 6 months. Or the adorable moment when your kids are hugging...right before they kick each other and run away. It's not how life is every moment, or ever day, or even at all this week...or last. The hugging picture was from this weekend. Win. And they didn't kick each other and run away, but Jackson did almost fall in a hole bigger than him. But I hope you guys don't read this blog thinking I am the perfect mother with perfectly well behaved kids. Because that's just not the case...at all. Or read any blog thinking they have perfect kids, perfect husband, perfect family, perfect jobs, etc. Everyone has their life behind the blog. And it's easy to take those precious few seconds and piece them together into a facebook or blog post. But real life is messy and I hope you all enjoy the mess that is your life and the precious seconds your kids are hugging and the hysterical laugh of your daughter as your son almost falls in a giant hole. There is a lot more happiness in the mess and not stressing and comparing ourselves to everyone else in the world.

Ok, end rant of perfection. I will try to share the bad as well as the good. And hope you will share your bad too with your friends! Because there are no perfect moms or perfect kids.

If you have Periscope, go check me out on there for some real life scope action ;) @emilytara

When You're Done Having Babies

Would you believe that I get asked almost daily if we are done having babies?

Yes, daily.

No, I'm not kidding.

While I think this is an incredibly personal decision and people can and should have as few or as many babies as they darn well please, I've reached a different point in my life when I've had to really sit down and think, are we done?

We have always talked numbers of kids or when we reached our end, and while I'm not quite ready to say we are done having kids, I am pretty confident saying that Eloise will be the last baby to grow in my belly. Take that for what you want, things could change, but for now, that's where we are at.

For the past 5 years I have been pregnant, breastfeeding a new baby, chasing around toddlers and never seen or thought of an end to diapers, night time wake up calls and baby cuddles. But I see that end now, I've become pretty comfortable seeing the end, but I have had to ask myself, what now?

I haven't worked in order to take care of the kids and keep them home with me and I have absolutely loved that. I am very lucky that we had that option. I have done a few small projects, volunteer work, but everything has always revolved around my kids. With the twins off at full time school and seeing what that is like, and what my future will be like when all 4 are at school, I've had to really sit back and think about, not my kids, but myself. Gasp!

What do I want to do with my days? What do I want our family to be like when we have school aged kids? Do I want to work? Go back to school? Take a long vacation on a beach when I'm finally done breastfeeding? Ok, that's a given. But what about ME? What do you do when you're done having babies?

It's a different chapter in life and one I knew would come eventually but haven't given it much thought. I'm happy and excited to see how these 4 little miracles turn out but I'm also excited to have more time for myself and what I want to do and figure out what I want to be for this next chapter. I still don't think I know what I want to be when I grow up. At 30. Ya know.

So my question for all of you lovely readers, how did you know you were done? What changed when you were done having babies? What should I expect for life without a baby in the house? Besides taking all the baby gates down. Can I get a hallelujah for that one? :)

Eloise-6 Months Old

I love looking back on my monthly updates on the twins and Ben so I can't believe I haven't updated anything on Eloise at all lately!

I blinked and suddenly, we have a 6 month old!

Weight: 19lbs

Height: 26 1/2" (although I think the nurse wasn't getting her legs straight, I measure her about 27")

Favorite things: putting anything in her mouth, taking off her socks, playing with Amelia in the bathtub

She rolls both ways, sits independently, does a really great up dog but hasn't quite gotten up on all 4's yet, talks up a storm, says mama and is usually referring to me...or to eat. She likes to eat ;)

Here are 6 fun things about Eloise in her past 6 months!

1. Eloise had her first Thanksgiving right after her 6 month birthday! She enjoyed apples to celebrate.

2. We started her on fruits and veggies on her 6 month birthday, so far, she hates it. We started with babyled weaning but she is having a really hard time with texture so we are back to purees. She still has no real desire to eat. We'll keep offering it to her and see how she catches on over the next few weeks.

 3. She is really embracing the baby sister roll. She loves just watching her brothers and sisters and laughing at them. She has become so interactive the past few months and loves to chat with them, eat their toys, and try to eat them.

4. She has 4 teeth and at least 2 more on the way! The NP at her peds office is betting on her finishing up her first 16 teeth (all but her 2 year molars) before her 1st birthday. That's about on track with the other kiddos so I'm not surprised.

5. She is a very serious little girl. She is very observant, and just takes everything in. She didn't smile until after her 2 month birthday and although she smiles a ton now, she needs to be impressed or in a chatty mood to get smiles. Other than that, she will just stare you down. There's a lot to watch and take in though with 3 hooligans running everywhere around her!

6. I'm excited to say I haven't bought a single disposable diaper for her yet! It took me 4 kids, but I have perfected my babywearing, breastfeeding, cloth diapering ways. The other 3 all had nighttime disposables or disposables for trips and she hasn't had a single disposable on her bottom since she was a few days old. I have however turned to the dark side of cloth diapering and have a FEW more diapers then I probably need and a FEW fun prints that aren't really necessary ;) but if Eloise is our last baby, I figure why not enjoy it and have fun with it! I'm sure even with my slightly added costs of a few fun, high-end cloth diapers, we have still saved a ton of money though so I'm happy! Now if I could just get Ben potty trained...anyone want to potty train a stubborn 2 year old? Pretty please? Don't make me beg, because I'm getting to that point.

Overall, Eloise is quite a joy and very loved in our family. Her sister loves matching clothes with her and her big brothers would do anything for her.

It is so fun to see what a different personality she has from the first 3. I have bets on what each of them will be when they grow up (with Benjamin being a professional clown or stunt double). Each of these 4 kids are definitely their own special person and it's been both fun and challenging raising this gang. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Happy 6 months beautiful girl. We simply adore you and can't imagine our lives without you!

International Babywearing Week!

Since writing a post on babywearing and it's benefits, I've actually had a lot of questions about types of wraps/slings/carriers! Which is awesome! This week has been International Babywearing Week #IBW2015 and if you've missed some of the great things going on to celebrate, I'd definitely encourage you to find your local babywearing group and get connected!

There are many different ways to wear your baby! and I just wanted to share a quick glimpse at some of the options. Each has pros and cons and checking out the lending library at your local babywearing group is definitely the best way to find what works best for you!

So, let's break this down a bit...

• Stretchy wraps-these are great for new babies and typically have a pretty low weight limit, meaning, baby can only be worn in a stretch wrap for so long. Examples of a stretchy wrap are a moby, k'tan, or boba. There are also lightweight versions of these like Solly and Happy. Great beginner option and great for your newborn and infants!

• Woven Wraps- Examples of these are Little Frog, Didymos, Girasol, etc. These don't stretch! So they have a higher weight limit. Baby can be wrapped from newborn to toddler in the same wrap. Woven wraps aren't always a great starting point for beginners. There are a bazillion ways to wrap (check youtube), they're a bit pricier than stretchy wraps and you won't find them at your typical box store. You will need to shop online or at a more natural baby store/boutique.

• Ring Sling- Similar to woven wraps, they don't stretch, so great for newborns to toddlers! The benefit of the ring sling over a woven wrap is there isn't any wrapping. There is 1 long stretch of fabric connected to a set of rings. Baby sits in a little "seat" in the fabric and the rings tighten/loosen the fabric to fit the baby snugly in their seat and support their back. It's a lot less material to work with and a quick option on the go. You won't find a ring sling at Target, so you'll have to shop at a local shop that carries them or online. 

• Soft-structured carrier-This is actually a personal favorite. They are soft and comfy but supportive and easy to use. They roll up prety small too. Not the best way for brand new infants, but for bigger babies, this is a great easy option! Examples include Ergo, Tula, Lillebaby, Kinderpack, Beco, etc.. We have tried on or owned all of these and I definitely have some favorites ;) but you can ask me more if you're interested!

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• Structured backpacks- typically used for hiking. These are large and in charge! Great for long hikes, camping trips, can have shade for the baby and lots of pockets and things for storage. Probably not your best daily use option but great for the avid hiker!

eeek! ok, so this is a very quick glimpse at babywearing! Again, your local group is where you can find more info, try on carriers, even borrow some for awhile before you buy so if you want to be a babywearing momma, check out facebook and the International Babywearing website! We absolutely love babywearing and hopefully this helps you to figure out what's best for you so you can love it too!

5 Easy Steps to Get Great Family Photos!

We recently had family photos taken. People gave me compliment after compliment about how great the kids looked and how they couldn't believe how we got them all to cooperate in a picture. I always laugh at these comments. They don't see the behind the scenes! So I thought I'd share with you, my 5 easy steps to get your kids to behave in family pictures!

1. Don't tell them where you're going. It's a surprise! When in doubt, I always find white lies to my kids are helpful. I think I have an age limit where this will stop working but 4 and under I'm still smarter than them! We're going somewhere fun guys! Get in the car and you'll see!

2. Keep smiling, even when you're reaching behind 1 child to grab another to keep him sitting still and trying not to drop the infant in your lap. Cheese!

3. If lying and smiling don't work, hanging out on the back of a truck doesn't work for your boys, hope your photographer is quick when you get the .2 second moment of good behavior. Also, wear appropriate footwear for chasing children who are refusing to cooperate. Tom said I picked the wrong shoes for him that day. Whoops. My bad.

4. Hope they forget your actually taking pictures. "Who wants to go for a walk through this field? Yay! Let's go and keep looking at that guy down there...good job!"

5. Bribe. Always bribe. This particular photo shoo was at 6:30am. There was much talk of donuts for good behavior. They would have gotten the donuts regardless of behavior, only because mommy needed to stop for coffee on the way home.

And of course, special thanks to Nate and Captured Memories Photography  by Nathan Weist for managing to catch the few precious seconds between the chaos so we have pictures of my kids faces instead of the blurs I usually manage to capture.

Sweet Memories

We were lucky enough to have the chance a few days after baby E was born to get some professional pictures of her.

We did this with all the other kids, so it was kind of a no brainer to get Eloise's pictures taken as well, but it wasn't even on my radar when we had the twins. Luckily, we have been very lucky with photographer friends and one in my hometown offered to take pictures of the twins when they came home from the hospital. It was such a sweet memory and I'm so glad we had them done!

 

When Ben was born, we also had a good friend photographer who not only offered to take pictures of Ben when he came home, but spent countless hours in her garage trying to get good shots of him.

 

We have been on the hunt for a photographer since we moved to Ohio, for the first time ever we don't live next door or down the street from a friend who is also a photographer.

 Luckily, I stumbled across Sarah of Living Joy Photography and she was looking for adorable newborns to photograph. I am also very lucky that all of my newborns are incredibly adorable...I'm not biased at all. Obviously.

I can't believe these pictures were taken in our living room! Amazing what she can do with natural light.

 

Notice the beautiful floors Tom put down in our house last summer ;) They matched great with her basket.

All of the pictures came out so beautiful!

 

Sarah also is a crafty one. She made the headbands and jumpers seen in all of the pictures! You can find them here at her Etsy shop, Inspiring Joy Studios.

 

 

Sweet little baby!

 



This is my absolute favorite picture out of all of them. The way you can see every detail of her sweet little face and her cute little lips. It's just perfect. And definitely a face I want to remember as she grows up. Have I mentioned I just put a 6 month dress on her. 6 month. On my not even 1 month old. Excuse me while I go cry....Why do they have to keep growing up on me??

 

 

 

Back on track, the point of all of this, is if you are having a new baby and you haven't considered newborn pictures yet. Do it! It doesn't have to be anything as formal as these. You don't need all the fancy headbands (ok, but seriously, how cute??). You just need to make sure you are capturing the moments when they are so new. Darn babies grow up so fast and you think you will remember, but it's so amazing to look back on these picture. It's also an amazing baby gift for a friend who is expecting their 1st (or 4th) little one. I especially like having a professional photograph take the pictures who has the props and knows how to pose and capture their sweet little baby hands and feed and lips. I'm so happy with how these pictures turned out and can't wait to have Sarah take more pictures for us!

 

If you are in the Dayton area and would like to use Living Joy Photography, Sarah has been kind enough to offer 20% off to Up To Your Toes readers! Just mention you were referred from my blog and she'll apply the discount to your session.

 

You can find pictures of all of her work on her Facebook or website.

 

Also, all of the headbands are from her Etsy shop! You can check it out HERE and on Facebook!

An Apple A Day

Can we discuss how beautiful it is in Ohio right now? I hear its 100 degrees in California. Yea, I don't miss the hot falls there!

We have been soaking up the last of our summer sunshine but this beautiful fall weather has me buying pumpkin on a  daily hourly basis and my new favorite Ohio activity...apple picking!

We went this past weekend and I'd love to show you pictures, but being the bozo that I am, I forgot the memory card in the camera and didn't take a single picture with my cell phone. Parenting fail. We're discussing a round 2 just for the sake of pictures....ok, ok, we might have to get just a few more apples.

So I'll just show you the aftermath..

A friend of mine apparently made 20quts of apple sauce. We didn't even make it to 5 although we didn't use all of the apple so we'd have enough left for fun things. Like pie.

and a bit of cider...

We have some homemade apple cider vinegar fermenting away on our counter to use up all the scraps from the apples.

Although, the back part of my counter is starting to get a little ridiculous with apple cider vinegar, an insane amount of bananas from a family 5k we participated in yesterday, and some citrus cleaner that I have brewing.

Obviously, I'm going to have to make some of THIS bread too!

 What are you doing this fall? Any apple suggestions for us? Ya know, in case I end up buying another 20lbs of apples....all because I wanted pictures of the kids picking apples.

And for everyone who just comes here for pictures of the kids...how cute is this kid playing his "drums"?

Happy Fall Ya'all!

Saving Pennies 101

I think most moms are looking for ways to save money but not everyone is cut out to be an extreme couponer (although I admit, food is by far our biggest expense every month). ,There are ways to save money around the house without digging in dumpsters for scraps of food and going through mounds of newspapers for the best coupons.

I am no money saving expert, but we have had to make some adjustments to our lifestyle since we went from 2 incomes down to 1...and from 0 to 3 kids in less than 2 years. It's been a big change and for me to continue to stay home, we're going to have to keep working on our money saving techniques. For now, here are just 10 of my money saving tips!

 You don't need a culinary degree to make homemade bread, desserts, snacks and almost all of your food. Buying chicken and breadcrumbs is cheaper than chicken nuggets. Baking bread makes your kitchen smell nice and can saves you money. Food isn't the only thing you can make from scratch though. We make our own detergent and household cleaners, using a lot of cheap things like vinegar and bars of soap.

I admit, for my face, I splurge and usually buy nicer products. I don't want wrinkles and try to buy greener, chemical free products. But I make up the difference because I don't buy shampoo or fancy hair things. I use baking soda and apple cider vinegar on my hair. Coconut oil is a great moisturizer and it's easy to make deodorant and other things you use every day but don't even think about. Fancy shampoo is definitely not a necessity.

 I cut everyone's hair in this house. Amelia has gotten one haircut from a salon in my hometown and I think cost $5. Since then, she's had several hair cuts, all for free by me. I also cut Tom, Jack and Ben's hair every month. I trim my own hair but when I need a good cut (once or twice a year) I will usually go somewhere affordable, not a high end salon. I don't like them using the chemicals and things on my hair so I just get a cut without washing and styling. I'd let my husband do it but I don't trust him to make my hair straight or to layer it a bit to give it some style. Once or twice a year though is a lot cheaper than every few weeks like some people will go get their hair done. I'm lucky enough to have nice colored hair with natural highlights so I don't color my hair. When it turns grey any day now, we'll revisit this topic.

 I am NOT a crafter. I will not pretend to be a crafter. There are many craft bloggers out there that are way more entertaining then I am. But I have made several craft projects to use as home decorations. I've also started making Amelia's dresses. Cute, original boutique dresses can cost over $30 a dress! I can make 5 or 6 for that price! I made several dresses for Amelia for the summer for about $25. By doing this, she gets cute dresses and Tom doesn't yell at me when he sees the prices. I guess I can craft when I want to ;)

Just get rid of it. You'll thank me later. We have Netflix, Hulu and Amazon Prime. Netflix and Hulu are actually family accounts that I share with other family members so we don't even pay for those. We just pay for internet every month.

 A night out is expensive! Not always because you do an expensive activity or eat a $100 dinner. The babysitter can sometimes be the biggest cost. Now, not to take away from high school entrepreneurs, BUT trading off kids with a mom friend and going on a Saturday day date with your husband means a nice outing without kids for next to nothing. We'll hire a babysitter if we plan to be out for bed time, but for a normal outing, I'm happy to watch someone else's kids for the day and they're USUALLY happy to watch mine. My brood can be a handful so maybe if you have 3+ young kids, find several mom friends so you can rotate friends ;)

 Swagbucks, Ebates, and surveys can make you an extra dollar or 2 here and there. I've gotten a lot of gift cards using Shopkick. Even using our credit card gives us a few extra dollars every month in cash. Find the cards and apps that will work for you and make the money you do spend count! Just make sure you don't buy things just to try to make a few extra pennies or go to target just to get some shopkicks, because you know you can't get out of there without spending $50. It's the Target curse.

 It's not gross and not just for the hippies. Try it, you'll thank me later. I wrote a post ages ago about cloth diapering the twins and my favorite diapers and things...you can find that post HERE.

 The Duggars say it best. Most of the kids books, toys, games, puzzles, and even clothes are hand me downs from neighbors. Being in a military community, when people move, they usually just want to get rid of their junk. They give us stuff their kids have grown out of for free or super cheap. If you don't live in a military community, chances are your town probably has a resale page on Facebook. It's USUALLY a little less sketch than Craigslist. We have a used piano, climber/slide for the kids, and even snack cups. We've gotten all of it from neighbors
. Used is cool.

Ok not for everyone, but if you have something interesting to say, some people can make a lot of money just sharing their thoughts and opinions.

Schooling for 2 Year Olds

Now, I have not been strict (come on, my kids are 2 and 1, their attention spans are...well...nonexistent), but for the past year I have been working on getting the kiddos some learning.

Obviously, 2 year old preschool wasn't really an option for a few reasons.
1. It's expensive because the twins weren't potty trained until around 2 1/2
and 2. This is why I stay home! To take care of the kids, feed them, clothe them, make sure they're learning their ABCs and how to tie their shoes...or atleast velcro the straps.

So I've had some friends ask questions about our schooling. I would say it's pretty elementary (or preschooly) and my kids are far from "advanced" but I do think they'll be ready to start preschool in the fall with a strong foundation if that's what we choose to do, or continue with a homeschool program.

So here's what we've been doing...
A friend recommended ABC Jesus Loves Me and their 2 year old curriculum. After checking out what else google showed me, I realized that this was a good curriculum..It had all the basics and seemed to cover them in a way that I could handle and I thought they could too. I'm no teacher, nor have I ever wanted to be, so this has been a learning experience for me too!

Please ignore Amelia's terrible bed head. She doesn't always like me messing with her hair in the morning, and clearly, it looks so wonderful on its own....

So what our days look like? We usually try to squeeze our learning time in each morning. We do that in a variety of ways, but usually it involves working on a letter, number, color, shape and doing some sort of activity. The twins rarely pay attention til I begin an activity, but for whatever the letter/shape/color of the week is so I try to incorporate it in play time no matter what we're doing by asking the twins the colors or shapes of their toys. If we're reading stories I have them attempt to find letters for me. If they point to letters I go through the name of the letter, if it's a big or little letter and what sound it makes. The actual sitting down learning time is probably less than 20 minutes. They just don't have the attention span yet and feed off of each other's energy, but here's a quick glimpse of what a pretty perfect morning looks like:

• Breakfast
• Show the kids the number, letter, color, etc. usually going through a poster of what it all is. 
• Explain the craft
• Let them work on the craft/activity for a few minutes with my help.
• Let them work on it for a few minutes on their own
• Go through some flash cards of the letters/numbers/colors we've already done all mixed up to see if they're retaining any information.
• Mass chaos ensues and we call it quits for awhile.
• Later we'll read a story from the library and talk about our weekly theme. We try to point out letter/color/shapes from the book.
• More chaos, running around the house in circles, screaming in the backyard
• Mommy still hasn't finished her coffee so she puts on the DVD for a few minutes and tries to blog/social media/work while finishing the coffee and try to ignore the mess.
• We have clean up/organize time and go through their toys to be put away
• I want to rip my hair out and usually resort to feeding the wild ones
• Nap time! My kids don't need naps when they're tired, when they turn into unruly monsters, it's time to take a break and lay down for a bit. Usually by 11:30am they're in bed.

I usually prep for the next day during nap time, while they're watching a movie or eating, or at night after they're in bed. The pro of having multiple kids is that they entertain themselves pretty well, so I do usually have some time during the day without kids hanging on me. Usually.

We also make weekly library trips. The twins can pick out a book and they'll usually "help" Ben pick out a book. We've met some great librarians who will help me find a book to fit whatever the theme of the week is like the jungle, cows, etc.

Now, sometimes, things get busy, we have a lot of doctors appointments, the kids get sick, so we haven't religiously stuck to the schedule, but I try to work on things as much as I can and make it fun for them.

Here is a must-have list of our "school supplies" and things we've use a lot of.

• A good printer. I print out a lot of things for crafts and projects and to make a poster.
• Poster board and construction paper
• Markers, crayons, pencils, and lots of scrap paper for the projects
• Preschool Prep DVDs and flashcards. We found these on sale and bought a few more for cheap from friends when their kids started school. These shows are all PAINFUL for adults, but the kids love them. So I recommend starting a blog so you have something to do while your kids watch these, or a good dinner prep time?
• Leapfrog Letter Factory: a friend recommended this, but if you see Amelia naming letters and their sounds and words that start with that letter, you can thank this DVD. 
• A cheap basic CD player. We have some books on CD the kids can play and read a long with and some music CDs that the kids will listen to and sing along while we're playing.

As for next school year, I'm not sure what we're going to do. We will finish Jack's IEP in the next few weeks, after that I will see what sort of school help he needs. If Jack goes to school, I will probably put Amelia in school as well. That will give me time to focus on doing the 2 year old program with Benjamin next year. I think he will catch on really quickly since he's been exposed to all of this the past year. 

Do you homeschool? Or do any sort of organized schooling with your toddlers? Have any tips for us while we're starting out?