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Thursday, June 30, 2011

Week 2

Week 2 the twins did a lot of things together which was really great. Some fun things about week 2 and some good things for mommy too because I felt more useful....
  • I got to give them both a bath. Mia loved it..Jack hated it, in true fashion to their personalities, which will have to have it's own post.


Mia's hair gets fuzzy after a bath...so stinkin cute.
  • They both were taken off of their IV's for nourishment and were on 100% breast milk. I like being able to give them something to help them grow and get stronger.
  • We got to hold them both together. While they like being close to each other...and cry when we take them away from each other...it's quite the challenge holding both babies at once with all of their tubes and wires and very fragile bodies. Jack is the wiggle worm king and also has a fascination with pulling and grabbing things. After pulling out Mia's nasal canula and her NG tube, we decided baby cuddle time might be more of a separate event for now.
  •  Their weight gain was pretty small. They would gain a few grams, lose a few and jumped around. They both ended the week above their birth weight but by not even an ounce.
By the end of the week they were both doing well. No big issues in week 2, I'm happy to report. No big changes either. We took them off the CPAP to kangaroo but other than that, they were both on it 24/7. Daddy had to leave so we were all sad about that, but I play a recorded book for the babies every day so they can hear his voice. They upped their feedings about a cc a day and ended the week really hoping they'd gain weight soon.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Week 1

To celebrate the twins' 3 week birthday tomorrow I thought I'd give an update of some important accomplishments...maybe even some setbacks of them week through week.

Since I'm just starting this we'll have to start from the beginning...so week 1! Days 0-7. What did these kids do...let's see...

Jackson:
  • Jack went off the vent and onto CPAP, then back on the vent, then back to CPAP to stay. It took him a minute but he got the hang of the breathing thing.
  • He beat off his e coli infection with lots of antibiotics.
  • Gained some weight from fluid (was over 1000grams for a little) but lost it again and got back on track with his weight, dropping a bit below his birth weight then back up to his birth weight by the end of the week.
  • Was put on a bili blanket for his bilirubin (common with all preemies and most newborns, no biggie), then needed another bili light above him. He was our little glow baby and wore sweet shades. You could see his incubator as soon as you entered the NICU.
  • Had some heart issues, but the dr decided not to treat it since it wasn't causing problems, so let him get past his infection then deal with the heart stuff.
  • Started eating a few cc's of breast milk down an NG tube, but got most of his nourishment through IV fluids, vitamins and lipids.
  • Got another dose of surfactant for his lungs to help with their development.
  • It took until the end of the week, but daddy got to hold Jack on day 6 and mommy got to hold Jack on his 1 week birthday. 

Amelia:
  • Dropped down to 1lb15oz at her lowest, but again, typical for all newborns to lose weight. Started to gain some weight by the end of the week.
  • Had the same heart problem as Jack, was treated with baby motrin and problem fixed right up.
  • Went on the biliblanket a day after Jack, just because she was jealous of the glow.
  • Ate the same as Jack, started getting a few cc's of breast milk just to prep their stomachs.
  • Was on the CPAP from the beginning and did well with that.
  • Needed to get surfactant as well for her lungs. She was breathing good, but just needed a little help.
  • Mommy got to hold baby Mia on day 3...best day EVER. First day holding either of my babies. Daddy got to hold her the next day and we rotated her until we could hold both babies, then switched off babies :)
  • Heard her first sneeze (going on the nasal canula to kangaroo with us tickles their noses) , she could squeeze your finger and could open her eyes for a quick second, but didn't like it very much. Both of their skin and eyes were very sensitive the first week so they weren't big on lots of touching and definitely not fans of any light.

So that's a quick summary, by the end of the week they were stabilized and on the right track. Daddy came to be with them on Friday night, and stayed all week. I was in the hospital most of their first week so we could go back and forth and see them all the time. Leaving the hospital for the first time without them was nearly impossible. I don't think I've ever cried so much. It hasn't gotten any easier to leave them.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

A Whole New World

After an ok pregnancy, I was never expecting that the birth story of my twins would be so dramatic, but it was. It included my first hospitalization for more than a night, my first ambulance ride, and the birth of my first babies.

So to start at the beginning, or the end of my pregnancy story, I was in Pennsylvania with  my family. My husband was in California setting up our new house, and I was going to join him on Monday. Everything was going as planned.

On Wednesday, June 1st, I was 26 weeks and 1 day pregnant. I spent the day laying outside getting some sun and swimming in my parent's "pond" (it's more of a pool but not really...you have to see it). I was relaxed, excited to get to California, and feeling great from being in the water. When I went back in the house, I noticed there was some brown discharge. I waited a little while to see if it stopped. When it didn't, I thought better safe than sorry and went to the ER. At the ER they told me everything looked fine, the babies were good, my cervix was good, I wasn't contracting and sometimes, discharge just happens. They sent me home around 9pm, I ate some dinner and went to bed.

At 1am I woke up and suddenly I felt a gush of fluid. I went to the bathroom and noticed it was a watery pink tinged liquid (aka not urine). My mom and I were the only ones at home so I woke her up and had her drive me to the ER...again.At the ER, the nurses were slow and almost didn't believe me. They kept asking how far along I was and if I was SURE it was my water and I hadn't peed myself. Well...I'd never had my water break, so no, I wasn't sure, but it sure didn't look normal and I don't think I've peed such a gush and not realized what I was doing. But heck, I'm pregnant, things are strange, what do I know right? All the while, I'm sobbing hysterically, thinking something is wrong with my babies. When they had my stand up, they noticed I was still leaking a pink tinged fluid. This got everyone moving a little faster.

They sent me to labor and delivery and hooked me up to monitor the babies heart beats and contractions. I'm not sure if I was having contractions there or if they didn't start until later. They tested the fluid I was leaking and of course, it came back positive that it was amniotic fluid. The hospital I was at didn't have a NICU, so everyone worked to get things set up for a transfer to a hospital an hour away and a possible C-section (both twins were breech). They gave me a shot of betamethasone for the babies' lungs and started me on magnesium sulfate to stop any contractions. Then I was off on my very first ambulance ride. As exciting as that was, when I got to the next hospital, everything was still a rush. I was having some contractions at that point, but nothing was really going on. I was only 1cm dilated. So they gave me some antibiotics, and watched me for the rest of the night. The contractions stopped eventually and I avoided having the babies that night.

The doctor came in the next morning and explained things to me, the first that someone had really given me the details. Essentially, my water was broken and baby A was leaking fluid. He would continue to replenish his fluid but since he's butt down, it's all just going to leak out of me. They weren't sure why it had happened, but infections are the most common reason for a PROM (premature rupture of membranes). Infections were also the biggest risk at the time for baby A. He was exposed to the outside world and all it would take is a little something that wasn't supposed to be in my uterus to get there and we'd have to get the babies out. For now, baby A had enough fluid, baby B was completely fine, so they would leave the babies in until I went into labor on my own or I had an infection.

I continued to leak fluid and spent the next few days in and out of labor and delivery for some slight contractions, some slight cramping, or some other random issue.














Things were uncomfortable. I had monitors tightly attached to my belly most of the time. I couldn't move because then a baby would move and we'd lose a heart beat. And we could never seem to keep both on for a long period of time so I had to lay in bed, holding the monitors to make sure we didn't lose a heart beat. It was so much fun....no. That's a lie. But the babies were healthy and I would have done it for 8 more weeks to get the babies to 35 weeks if I could. That was the finish line. If I could get to 35 weeks, they would deliver the babies. At that point, the risks of keeping them in outweigh the risks they'd face as newborns. So I sat there, waiting and hoping nothing happened.

A few things about that week: The first 48 hours I was monitored constantly (which meant no moving 24/7...ask me how much I slept. ha), got my blood pressure checked every 15 minutes and my other vitals every hour. I was on IV antibiotics and IV magnesium to stop labor. After that, they moved me to a postpartum where I was monitored twice a day for at least an hour, usually more. I was getting antibiotics by mouth and my vitals were checked every 4 hours. I also had daily blood work to make sure there wasn't an infection so they could catch things early. Things were SLIGHTLY more comfortable over there. There were a few times when they picked up contractions but I never felt anything so I wasn't too worried and thought these kids are staying in there for the long haul.

And here's where things get exciting...

Thursday, June 9. I woke up that morning around 7 feeling a little nauseous and crampy. I thought the cramps were from the nausea and the nausea was far from a new feeling for me. I told the nurses to be on the safe side, and I was hooked up to the monitors for my morning session. I wasn't registering any contractions but at some point I vomited. The nurses encouraged me to drink some water (dehydration can cause contractions and put you in to labor) and relax and hopefully I'd feel better soon but they didn't want to give me anything for nausea. As you'll soon read, I bet they regretted that decision.

They took me off the monitors around 9 and I relaxed and dozed off watching Regis and Kelly.

Regis and Kelly was just about over so I'm guessing it was around 10ish when things started to pick up. I woke up feeling crampier than before. I went to the bathroom thinking that was the issue and came back and relaxed again. I had told my mom and the hubby (who was in DC for a work trip at this point, he hadn't been with me the whole time, we were waiting for the babies to come so he could spend his time off of work with them, as much fun as sitting in the hospital watching me get monitored, poked, and trying so hard to sleep would have been for him) earlier that I was feeling nauseous but that was all that they knew.

I called the nurses to let them know I felt crampier and naturally, back on the monitor I went. They took my vitals, everything seemed fine and they just waited to see. I wasn't registering any contractions so they weren't too worried. The crampiness started to turn to pain and was on and off. My back was hurting and I felt a lot of pressure. I'd never felt contractions before, but what I was feeling seemed pretty similar to everything I'd read about in pregnancy books, even though the monitor was saying I wasn't having contractions. So when I feel nothing I'm having contractions but when I feel pain, I'm not having contractions? I don't trust those monitors anymore.

About 30-40 minutes of this pain, things were getting steadily and quickly worse. I was in legit pain and my time of relief was getting briefer and briefer so they decided to take me from my postpartum room to labor and delivery. On my bed ride over there, I vomited again, this time in the hallway, all over a nurse or 2. I told you they'd regret not giving me anything for nausea. In the L&D room I was in so much pain I was practically screaming at the nurses who poked at me trying to get vitals. The nurse who I had become best friends with when I threw up all over her was trying to give me a quick lesson on labor since I hadn't had time to take a birthing class. She was sweet trying to coach me through the contractions and tell me to breathe but honestly, I wanted to punch her. She was even nice enough to call my mom and hubby so my mom could come over and my hubby knew what was going on...so I guess it's a good thing I didn't punch her. Finally she checked my cervix, I was 3cm dialated, and rushed out of the room to call the Dr.

Once again, they wanted to wait and see where things went, figuring I had time and the labor might stop, and took my vitals again. This is where things went into panic mode because my fever, which was fine less than an hour ago, was now over 100. A sure sign of an infection, which was a huge threat to the babies. The nurse told me they were going to prep me for the c-section (both babies, still breech).

So my first thought should have been "Oh no it's too early, the babies are too small"...that was my 2nd thought. The first was well...at least they'll give me something for pain now. Just a brief thought though, then I broke down into hysterical tears, even though I'd been crying on and off for the past hour because I had a feeling the babies were coming that day. In about 5 minute the nurses had me prepped and were wheeling me to the OR. In the OR there were about 20 people from anethesia to the NICU team to the maternity team. The Dr strolled in with his merry band of residents right after they had given me the epidural. Pain was gone, some annoying nurse was squawking in my ear about how I was doing so good...what was I doing good? Seriously? I was laying on a table, numb from my chest down. The dr went straight in for the babies and the nurse gave me a play by play with lovely phrases like "You're wide open now" and "They have to suction out the blood". I was still crying, freaking out, but luckily I was drugged enough that as far as I could tell, there was just a steady stream of tears rolling down my eyes, but no real hysterical cryfests.

Finally, at 1158 baby A, my baby boy, was born. The only reason I knew this was from a nurse saying here's baby A. I couldn't see him. He wasn't breathing. They rushed him right to the incubator and put him on the vent. I hardly had any idea he was even born and couldn't see a thing.

My baby girl came out just a minute later. She started breathing and crying right away, so they held her up in her bloody messy glory over the curtain for me to see her. There was a lot more crying and a nurse holding my arm down. I'm assuming she realized all I wanted to do was reach up and grab my little girl and hold her. But in a second, she was gone, rushed over to the incubator with her brother.

For the next 10 minutes or so the dr stitched me up, the nurses worked on the babies. Baby boy needed surfactant in his lungs right away. He started breathing better though and finally they wheeled them over for me to see them.

















My mom was there to take pictures. This was my first look at my little boy.  He looked so sick compared to her and I was so worried about him.

I finally got to recovery, and back to my room, and waited very anxiously for everyone to give me the ok to go over to the NICU to see my little ones. The nurses were a little worried about me getting up after the c-section but no pain was stopping me from getting up into a wheel chair. About 4 hours after they were born I finally got to go over to the NICU and see my babies. It was a terrible wait. I couldn't touch them or do anything but sit there and look at them but it was nice to be close to them and know that they were ok.

It turned out, baby boy Jack and I were both very sick. A normal strand of e coli had worked it's way from my stomach to my uterus, which of course, is not where it should have been. With the ruptured membrane, everything was wide open and an easy path for bacteria to get in. It infected him and me. Luckily, it made me sick. Jack's heart rate was fine the whole time and they expected it to be elevated if he was infected. If I hadn't been sick, he would have stayed in there longer with the infection and probably wouldn't have made it (insert hysterical tears when the NICU Dr told me that). We both had fevers and were very sick for a few days. I had to stay in the hospital a little longer to get IV antibiotics. Jack took a little longer to recover, but eventually we both were feeling much better.

So that is the story of the birth of Miss Amelia and Mr. Jackson. I hope I look back on this and think, wow that was rough, but so worth it. Only time will tell. I want to remember how I felt though through every up and down of the event. And luckily, things have gone ok from there. They should be 30 weeks today, but instead, they're 19 days old.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Preggo

I noticed when I found out I was pregnant, I was suddenly insanely curious about all my other friend's pregnancies. What did they eat? Where did they get the cute maternity shirt? How do they stay in shape? Are they as tired as I am?

I was even more curious when things went wrong though. If someone got gestational diabetes I would wonder if I was eating too much sugar. When a friend of a friend went into preterm labor at 23 weeks I was curious what caused it. Her baby was barely a pound and survived and I was amazed that that was even possible. But I never thought it would happen to me.

For everyone's curiosity I thought I'd share a little bit about my pregnancy and maybe some things that possibly led up to the my PROM (Premature Rupture of Membranes).

We had just gotten back from traveling to Pennsylvania to visit our families for the holidays. I had no clue that I was pregnant until we got back to Florida and did some calculations to realize just how late I was.

 January 4, 2011 I woke up and took a pregnancy test. I was shocked to see it turn positive! I had Tom read it, just to make sure I wasn't reading it wrong. A blood test later and I was definitely pregnant! By my calculations, I was close to 6 weeks along. The OB clinic at Eglin AFB (where we were stationed at the time) doesn't see patients until at least 10 weeks, so I made an appointment for early February and went about my merry pregnant way. I had very little symptoms at the time and was feeling pretty good. About 2 weeks later though, the nausea and exhaustion hit, and didn't end until I delivered the twins, but you'll have to wait for the delivery story for those lovely details. About the same time I noticed some light spotting. I called my doctor, who said it could be implantation bleeding, but had me come in just in case.

At the appointment, we found out we were having twins! They also found out I had bacterial vaginosis. They gave me some gel to treat the infection with and I was on my way, shocked that there were 2 babies instead of one. I had a follow-up the next week to see how the infection was. It was still not gone so I had another round of the lovely gel, but at that appointment we heard our sweet little babies heartbeats for the first time. They also moved my due date back a week to September 6th based on measurements of the babies.

A few days later I woke up to a lot of blood. Like period blood. It was the end of January, I was only 8-9 weeks pregnant, and I was 100% certain I had lost my babies. We rushed to the ER where we saw 2 beautiful babies and 2 strong heart beats. I was so relieved but still really uncomfortable with the amount of blood. The doctors told me it happened sometimes, that the babies were ok for right now, but they didn't know if I would keep the babies. Luckily, soon after the bleeding stopped. I remember I was almost 10 weeks pregnant, we went to a superbowl party and that was the last time I saw any bleeding. From then on, our pregnancy went great.

Of course, the incidents early on made me incredibly nervous for the rest of the pregnancy. I didn't want to buy any baby things because I didn't want to have them around the house in case anything happened to the babies. But every appointment we had, we were told they looked perfect. We had all kinds of tests and blood work and everything came out normal. One doctor even told me I had a very boring pregnancy.

Baby Boy at 19 weeks.



Baby Girl at 19 weeks.











My main issues for the rest of the pregnancy was nausea and weight gain. I lost about 10lbs my first trimester from being sick so often. There was even an ER visit because I couldn't stop throwing up no matter how hard I tried.I slowly started to gain the weight back. The doctors kept telling me to eat more, but it was hard until about week 18. I was taking zofran daily, but still feeling sick and still vomiting almost every day. Around 18 weeks though the zofran started to actually help and I could finally eat and not vomit daily. If I didn't take the zofran though, things weren't pretty. I started to slowly pack on the pounds and so did the babies.

In February we got orders to move to California and for the hubby to report June 1st. I was a little anxious about the move in the middle of my pregnancy, but I thought it would be early enough that I would have no travel issues and still have a lot of time to get everything ready for the babies. When May rolled around I was cleared by my doctors and told I would be fine to travel, no babies were coming anytime soon, we packed up our lives and it all moved to California. At that time I decided to take a trip up to Pennsylvania to see some family and friends one last time before the babies came. I thought it would work out perfectly because I could stay there and sleep in an actual bed while the hubby got our life situated and got things settled in our house. He slept on the floor for a few days before the moves brought all of our things, and I wouldn't have handled that well at all, so I thought I had the best plan. Obviously, the best plan is made to be ruined.

I never made it to California. The twins didn't make it to California. Here we are, still in Pennsylvania. The hubby is stuck in California. And it's all a big mess, but that's more of the labor and delivery story, which I will tell you all about next.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

The Beginning

I've debated for the past few weeks whether to share my story or not. Part of me wants to but part of me wanted to keep it private because of how hard it was for me to deal with. I didn't like people getting in my business and asking 1000 questions and I certainly didn't want strangers looking at pictures of my children and thinking about how pathetic they look.

My twins are stable now. They're doing well. And I really want to remember this event and everything that has led up to it. I want to remember how my children smell. How they look at me and squeeze my finger and know that I'm their mommy. How exciting every little step is in their long journey to be big, healthy babies. No matter what the outcome is, I want to remember how much I loved every second I got to hold them and touch them and be with them.

So I'm starting this blog. I'll go in steps and tell the story so it's not too overwhelming. I want to celebrate every step my little miracles make and look back on this all someday and be so happy for what we went through together.

So the story starts with a guy and a girl who fell in love and got married.


















A few months later, we found out we were pregnant. A few weeks after that, we found out we were having twins, and just a few months after that, we had our babies, 3 months before they were due. Jackson Thomas Martin weighed 2lbs 1oz and was 15 inches long. Amelia June was 2lbs 2oz and 14.5 inches long. Amelia has had chubby rosey cheeks since the second she was born. Jackson is so long, from his face to his fingers and toes. They are our little miracles. I can't imagine life without them.

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